Surgery Revision
I've thought of many ways to post this post in the last 16 hours. The first version wasn't fit to print I'm positive it would have been laced with a lot of profanity. I don't normally talk that way so you can understand how mad I was. I wanted to punch walls or doctors. I'm not sure which one I wanted to punch more. I firmly believe that they need a room at all hospitals for mothers who have just received bad news. It would be equipped with punching bags and treadmills. The punching bags would be for the ones who are very very mad still and the treadmills for the ones filled with anxiety and worry but are sick of walking the same hallway over and over.
Yesterday we came down to have his pump adjusted and to replace his GJ tube We got here at 10:15 in the morning. At 11:15 they called us back to change his GJ tube. When we walked into the fluoroscopy room instead of the special procedures room I knew someone messed up. They thought he had an NJ. Colby hasn't had an NJ in over 20 months. I calmly and politely explained what needed to happen. We waited some more. 45 minutes more. They changed the tube in 5 minutes. Then we went up to Rehab to have his pump adjusted. After talking with the wonderful Amy we thought he was having withdrawals and so she sent us back to x-ray. We waited. A half hour. They took 3 x-rays. We waited 15 minutes for the radiologist to read them and decide he wanted one more. Then we waited. 30 minutes. He came out and said he was consulting with the neuro surgery residents and trying to get a hold of Dr. Gooch. In the mean time I talked with Amy who told me what dose of oral baclofen to put him on at home so that we could go home until they could schedule surgery. We waited for the x-ray department to decide that since they couldn't track down Dr. Gooch they should try Dr. Walker. What I suggested an hour before. They found the neurosurgery resident. He didn't want us to go home. He said I'll track down Dr. Gooch. We waited. 30 minutes. Finally they talked with Amy who said go home. Did I mention I had talked with Amy. I had.
They rescheduled his surgery for this morning at 8:15. We are waiting as I type this. I have calmed down. My frustration over his catheter coming coming completely out and his pump shifting in his stomach have diminished. I was still wanting to punch something or someone at 8:00 last night. A priesthood blessing helped calm me down. I was reminded of how much Heavenly Father loves us and that all trials are for our good. Even though we don't know why they happen there is a plan and there are people that Colby comes in contact with who need his example. He is a choice spirit and has great things in store for him. I know this. I am grateful I had 16 hours to calm down before I posted this. I was able to gain some perspective and hopefully not offend anyone reading this. I will post more after we get to his room. We are in 2012 in the NTU. They love us there. We love them too!
1 Comments:
Erin,
Sometimes it can be healthy to punch something or someone! (Look out John!)Seriously, you need to find an outlet for yourself to express anger, disappointment, frustration, etc. all those feelings that I know you are burying deep inside. It is okay to express your feelings, you don't have to be strong for everyone else all of the time. You are an amazing daughter, wife, and mother Erin. I couldn't be more proud of you and the example you are to me. Love you tons! I may punch something too! Love mom
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