Not me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Today is supposed to be Not My Child Monday, but we've had such a lovely week that I'm going to include everyone in on it.

My husband would never throw out his back shoveling dirt. He would listen to me on the day he did it and go to the emergency room. He would never tell me he was fine and didn't need to go even though the pain was much greater than before he had his original back surgery. My husband ALWAYS listens to me. ALWAYS. (You may want to insert a heavy level of sarcasm in here. More so than normal!) He would lay on the floor as he was instructed and not lay on a couch all day and then lay on a bed that isn't nearly firm enough. He would then the next morning be able to walk and he would not fall down and have to call the paramendics to come take him to the emergency room at 6:30 in the morning on a Sunday. Loving husband that he is he would never never do something like this.

I would never almost go answer the door in a t-shirt and turqoise underwear. I would have the presence of mind to realize that we live in a small valley were the paramedics are probably not that busy on a Sunday morning at 6:30. I would realize that they would be at my house 7 minutes later and I would be ready to greet them with a smiling face. I also would not be holding my screaming four year old who was dressed in only a diaper and t-shirt and did not like seeing his father being placed into the ambulance.

I would also realize at 6:30 in the morning that my husbands gun was laying on the dresser and bullets were out and that a police officer would accompany the afore mentioned paramedics to our home. I would not stupidly blurt out "Oh I meant to put that away before you got here." Making it seem like I was trying to conceal a weapon from a cop. I am always much much smarter than that.

I would not go down to wake Jahnna up so she could get ready to go with her grandma when she got to her house. Jahnna would not respond with "I know I know your taking Colby to the hospital, I'm going to Grandma's with Riley and you don't know when you will be back." Because no 6 year old should have a routine that includes this scenario on a regular basis. When I explained to her that it was Daddy who was going in the ambulance (Which is something he had never experienced as a patient before. He had gone on ride alongs when he was in an EMT course but never as the person being transported.) Jahnna was like "Oh ok I'll get ready." Didn't really faze her that it was her dad going either. We must never spend large amounts of time in and out of hospitals.

Riley would never tell her mother to "Turn blue and to Back off Jack." When she didn't like being told she couldn't eat cake for breakfast. My two year old is very well behaved all the time. She is very respectful of all adults especially her mother.

Colby would not laugh hysterically this morning when I told him he was in charge of dad and that he had to make sure dad didn't get up off the floor and hide from mom. They are currently watching Kelly's Heros. Because all 4 year olds love old clint eastwood war movies. This same four year old would never force his dad to watch war movies all day yesterday but only the battle scenes. During every scene where there wasn't shooting he would not scream his little head off demanding to see bullets fly. He also would not actually say "Shoot em" clear as day during these war movies. My little boy abhors violence and war. Or not. It always amazes me the things he can say versus the things he cannot. Because some days he speaks clearer than others and he's starting to say many more words than before this just reinforces my belief that his brain is still working to repair the damage that was done and that he will speak again.

Well that about sums up our day yesterday. To much going on to do the entire week.
Just for fun John decided to have his L5 and S1 vertabrae bulge and trap a nerve in his spinal column. He's feeling better now that he's on copious amounts of hydrocodone. Goodness I must be feeling smart this morning I've used lots of big words today! I'll take him to go see an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow and we'll see what he has to say. The radiologist said he was probably looking at another surgery in the near future. But that's a whole other post! Colby's getting restless so I better go see why the bullets have stopped flying.