Not My Child Monday

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Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


Today is Not My Child Monday instead of Not Me Monday. Something a little fun and different and boy do my kids have a bunch.

My Riley would never color on herself, repeatedly, every day for the last 3 weeks. Not Riley. She would never color the wall on the stairs from the bottom all the way to the top and come find me and tell me "I colored pretty mommy". This same child would not force us to paint the stair way wall because the permanent marker wouldn't come off. (I swear I threw away all the permanent markers just so this wouldn't happen!) Not my child.

This same child would never get into the butter and smear it all over marshmallows and eat them in the middle of the kitchen. Yuck that would be disgusting. Riley wouldn't do that.

She also wouldn't smear all of the diaper rash cream into her shirts and shorts three days in a row! Ruining three outfits. That would be ridiculous. Where she got these diaper rash creams I have yet to figure out. The one I bought because the other three mysteriously disappeared is still safe, very high up in Colby's dresser. Are you starting to see a trend here?

Riley also wouldn't stash fruit snacks, bug juice and water bottles in her toy box in her room. She is not a squirrel who is getting ready to hibernate. I swear she is not! You might think so after this last week though.

Jahnna would never walk out of Sam's club with her father telling everyone standing in line that they didn't have a receipt making it seem like they were stealing something. My child has more respect for adults than that. She would also listen when I tell her that she doesn't need to tell every single person in Wal-mart that her brother had a stroke and is in a wheelchair. Even when he's not there. This would not cause people to look at me like my child and I are both crazy. My child wouldn't do that.

Jahnna would never stick stickers on her headboard at night with chapstick while she was supposed to be sleeping. Whose child would do that? Not mine.

At last Colby would never proceed to scream his head off at his nurse (who has worked with us for 18 months) for 3 hours just because he doesn't feel like he needs to have a nurse. He wouldn't purposely throw up so that Mom would have to stay by him for a few more minutes instead of getting dinner on the table. (He told me yes when I asked him if he did it on purpose and then grinned! Stinker!) Colby also would never wake up every hour of the night because he is thirsty. No child in the world is that thirsty. Especially when they are on enough sleeping drugs to knock out two adults for 48 hours. My children always sleep through the night regardless of them having a stroke or being totally healthy. Riley wouldn't wake up three times a night for the last week either. That would be beyond ridiculous for a two year.

And finally Riley just brought me an empty cup and told me it was all gone. When I asked her where it was she did not bring me a fish net and say "It's in the net" And that was just while I was typing this. I'm almost afraid to go find where the water went.